he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I don't deserve a penis
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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