I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize