please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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