As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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