how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Randomize
