My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
why didn't you poke me back
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Randomize
