Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Even my vagina gasped.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
