Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
