I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
