I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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