I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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