They should really pass out barf bags in church
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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