He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Randomize
