I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
