just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
