Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
