JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
