just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
