yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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