I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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