When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
