guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
