I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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