so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
