I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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