ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
