you guys were way drunker than both of me
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
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