I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
