last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
