he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
