btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
