How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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