He uses pillows to masturbate.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
