The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
