He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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