Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
