I wish I only lived at night.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
