what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
