I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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