GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
