Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
