Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
