Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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