some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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