I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
