I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
The adults are the big ones right?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
