if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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