I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
