i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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