So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
